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“Beauty is when you are the most sincere and authentic version of yourself”

avtor Tadej Peric 22. novembra, 2022

As a public figure, the name Lorella Flego is synonymous with beauty, fashion, lifestyle, TV talk shows, hosting famous national events, and much more. I have personally known Lorella for two decades, and to all the professional titles that define what she does, I can add a few words about who she is – a phenomenal woman who has an incredible sense of humor and the kindest smile and a personality that allows her to excel in everything she does.

Although fashion is what we associate her with, Lorella is first and foremost a psychologist, and this knowledge helps with the daily challenges that come her way. Her new mission is to use her knowledge and experience to empower others to become the best they can be and to thrive.  She is also Sofia’s mother – a role that completely changed her life.

On a beautiful autumn day, Lorella and I had a little chat, and she shares some of her thoughts on self-confidence, motherhood, the law of attraction, the most important values ​​in her life, her definition of beauty, and much more….

Thank you, Lorella, for your positive energy, smile, and friendship.

TO LIVE HERE AND NOW

In your last post on “glitter.si”, you talk about how we change, the beauty and colors that Autumn brings, and the fact that summer was your favorite season, but now…

But now everything is different and I don’t really know what happened. In fact, I suddenly noticed that there are four seasons in the year, and each is unique. I am a person of summer and the warm season for me is a period of vacation, rest, travel, and really disconnecting from everything. That’s why I always lived in anticipation of July and suitcases in the hallway, but now I just stopped. I gasped. I looked around, smelled the forest and all the magic in it, and realized that it is most wonderful to stay here and now because this moment is the only thing we really have. It seems simple, but it’s not, the brain rushes constantly, creates stories and new scenarios and we exist in the meantime. That’s right: we exist but we forget to live. I decided that I will not live like that anymore, so suddenly every day has become the best version of life and I will do my best to live it and enjoy it.

FASHION

You say that fashion has been present in your life from a very young age. Share with us something about this statement.

It all started in my teenage years.. One day, my father returned from Bologna, Italy, where he was working, and brought with him the cult magazine “Moda”, which at the time was like Vogue today, full of beautiful pictures, beautiful colors, and of course, the top models of the time were on the cover. When I saw all this beauty in one magazine, I knew that my path would be in the world of fashion; I really had no idea how, when, and with whom, but I knew that this would be part of my life. For me, fashion has always been an escape from the real world, an opportunity to surround myself with beautiful things and enjoy them. Even now, when things go wrong, I grab nice underwear, a silk blouse, a midi skirt, and the most beautiful bag and I’m happy. Maybe fashion works subconsciously, maybe it caresses our soul, or it’s simply a silent friend who doesn’t let you down.

And since we’re talking about fashion. You traveled the world and for your various TV programs, you met, prepared, and hosted interviews with global icons of the fashion industry. Did any famous person really fascinate or inspired you or perhaps let you down in any way?

There were quite a few of them, perhaps the most interesting to me was Donatella Versace, because everyone always criticizes her a lot, especially because of her appearance. She was nice, simple, playful, and intelligent. Her company was pleasant. Then Lagerfeld, because you never knew what you were allowed or not, a special man with a special character. Mr. Armani, who has disappointed me countless times, is a very starry person and very little human. And all the stars in the front row at the fashion shows, from JLo to Cindy Crawford, from Bryan Adams to Beyonce. I have good memories, regardless of whether the person was ok or not, I’m always happy when I can be a part of this scene.

You recently attended the “Milan Fashion Week”. What kind of feelings were present after almost two years without similar events and how did everything turn out?

I was super happy that everything looked as if we were back to normal, it was the way it was before Covid, which I thought was amazing, I never thought that fashion would pick up so quickly. Well, it did. Maybe our desire to watch everything live and not on the screen is also to blame; I don’t know if anyone was impressed with digital fashion shows, for me they were very artificial and a real disaster. Perhaps, better than nothing, but still, it cannot compare to “live fashion shows”. Fashion is alive on the body and when we can admire it, look at it, smell it and touch it. Interesting how I have the feeling that Covid is already in the distant past, even though it is still around the corner, but I would not like to hear about it anymore. It was all too much.

A DRESS IS AN EXTENSION OF OUR PERSONALITY

Giorgio Armani said that “elegance is not in being noticed, but in being remembered”. What would you say to that?

A person is alive if people remember him/her and that is a living truth. When everyone forgets you, then you disappear and it’s as if you never left a trace on earth. Clothing is a tool that not only serves as a cover when it’s cold, but today it is an extension of our personality, which says a lot about who we are, what we like, and what we want. When you see a person on the street, you don’t know if he or she is good or bad, but you notice what he or she is wearing, and that first contact is very important.

PSYCHOLOGIST AND WITCH

From producing and hosting programs on regional and national TV in Slovenian and Italian language, hosting festivals, various events, and interesting talk shows, and of course managing Glitter.si and Gracefulstory.com, you give all your viewers the opportunity to admire you in various roles. You are also a child psychologist by education… Probably this knowledge combined with life experiences gives you an additional advantage and maybe helps you on a daily basis…

I would say that first I am a psychologist, then a witch, then everything else. Or rather, I’m a witch first. I think that psychology is deep in me, that listening to people and helping them is simply part of my story. Fashion came later… I always analyze thoughts, attitudes, gestures, looks, and words. Basically, it’s very challenging and magical at the same time, because you discover things that others don’t, and you get into relationships that are sometimes really, really deep.

This is good if you have time and patience, however, I think that today’s society is extremely superficial, and nobody has time for these things anymore. In principle, we operate by ticking the box and moving on. Last week I was giving a lecture in Switzerland, and I asked the students how they were doing. The reply was “Fine, thank you”. So, I asked them once more and then twice more. When they looked at me strangely, I told them that I want an honest answer because my question is sincere, and I’m actually interested in how they are. Because we are not always well and not always happy, but that’s okay. But if you answer “I am not well, thank you” to people, they don’t expect it and just get scared; very few people are willing to deal with their fellow person. In principle, it is easier to move forward and not know.

YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT AND LET GO

Over the years we change, learn, become wiser, and perhaps more selective about whom we spend time with. How do you deal with toxic people at work and in your private life, I guess as a public figure you might come across similar people in your journey?

The first, bigger purge happened when I became a mother. I would never have done it myself, but my daughter Sofia rolled up her sleeves and took action for me even as a baby. That’s when the toxic people left for the first time and people in general who were not suitable for me. Of course, it’s a legitimate question why they were there in the first place, but I think the biggest problem for me is politeness, I don’t send away, and I don’t turn to the other side, which often attracts bad energy. However, over the years you learn to accept and let go, so I walked away many times and never regretted it. Because I am a public figure, people often have the feeling that they can say and write whatever they want about me, but that is not exactly the case. I am human and I get hurt, even too quickly, especially when I am judged by those who do not know me. And yet…let him who has never sinned cast the first stone, shall he? That’s how we are. It is easier to accept than to change people and never forget that we always have one wonderful option: to leave. This is our right.

MATERNITY

I can hardly believe that Sofia is already 12 years old. Time flies. What is Lorella like as a mother?

Sofia would say I’m not strict, but I get angry if things don’t go according to plan (that’s what she just told me today…). Since I am an analyst, it is probably the case that we always have to understand everything. That doesn’t mean I don’t accept the word no, but I’d always like to have a justification. At home, we talk about everything, for me, WORDS are crucial, a conversation is crucial, and Sofia knows that she can tell me anything, and vice versa. The child changed me completely, now the priorities are different; it can get often very busy and stressful at work, but I keep in mind my family, harmony at home, and a partner who, when I come home late, will prepare dinner for me, light candles and hug me. That’s important for me. The rest comes and goes, there are ups and downs, but inside I keep peace and believe in myself. I always think that this is not the end of my story, I would like to do so much, experiment, and create, the paths in the world are endless and I believe that they will still surprise me.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND THE STORY OF THE LADYBUG

I enjoy reading your posts, your daily inspirations are full of wisdom and positivity. What inspires you?

Life, as it is. Sometimes I wake up full of energy, other times I would sleep until the afternoon. I’m a big believer in the law of attraction and the universe; they say you have to ask for signs to know you’re not alone. I did this two years ago, I said something like this: “Dear universe, I don’t want to be alone, if someone is with me, send me a ladybug”. You may think it’s funny, but to me, the ladybug is a beautiful animal and I thought I would like to have one around. Do you know what happened? Suddenly, Ladybugs were everywhere, there were 40 of them in a pile in the bedroom, and I still don’t understand how. I took pictures and recorded everything…I couldn’t believe it. Two months ago, I told myself that I would change, and I asked for a dragonfly, which is also important in terms of change because they say that it always brings new things. Well, I was sitting on the terrace in the middle of the forest and a dragonfly came to me; I had a puddle of water at my feet, he was there drinking, then he flew away. The scene was repeated several times. I became attentive to all these signs, there are a lot of them if we learn how to see and listen.

BEAUTY – IS WHEN WE ARE OUR MOST AUTHENTIC SELF  

We all interpret the concept of beauty in our own way. Can beauty be defined?

The balance between who we are and what others think we are. I would say that people are beautiful when they can be the best and most honest version of themselves, everything else is not important. When you have your own values ​​and morals, you make compromises and at the same time, you put yourself first. People are beautiful when they can live peacefully with themselves because they know that they do not have a mask and are aware at every moment that they are part of a larger chain. We are all in this chain, each in our own way and each in our place.

THE SWING – IT CAN GO HIGH UP OR DEEP DOWN

Although we live in a time of great uncertainty, resilience has probably helped us navigate through some very difficult times. How do you find strength in difficult times?

We are all on the swing of life – sometimes up, sometimes down

I would say in conversation. As I mentioned earlier, words are crucial to me, and words make us different from animals. I firmly believe that just about any situation could be solved by talking, the problem is that many people put themselves in the role of victims or don’t want, not even for a second, to step into the other’s shoes. We lack empathy and understanding that everyone is fighting their own battle, even the one who at first glance seems the happiest, richest, flawless and awesome. There is no such thing as perfection in life, we are all on a virtual swing, sometimes high up and other times deep down.

GIVE YOURSELF A HUG AND BE GENTLE TO YOURSELF

Self-confidence can play an important role in our professional and personal lives. What motivational message would you give to women who may feel that they lack self-confidence?

I do a very simple exercise: I stand in front of the mirror and start a monologue with myself. It always starts with “Dear Lorella…” and then I list everything I’ve done, what I’ve achieved, moments of happiness, and all the abilities I have. I believe that everyone has their own virtues, we just often forget to hug ourselves and say to ourselves: “You’re great, look how far you’ve come! Well done!”. This is missing in all workplaces, there is no good leader who hugs you and says: “Well done, you did a great job!” Everything is self-evident, but we must not be self-evident about ourselves: let’s praise ourselves and each other, hug each other, be gentle and respectful. Above all, without a bad conscience, we should put ourselves first. It means being intelligent, not selfish. 

THERE IS ONLY THIS MOMENT

Although it sounds like a “cliché”, living in the moment is important because after all, TIME is all we have. Rita Levi Montalcini said: “It is better to add life to your days than days to your life”. It’s about quality as opposed to quantity. It’s about appreciating the moments of joy, and togetherness, appreciating the negative and positive things of life because there is no yin without yang. What is your definition of the “Carpe Diem” philosophy?

We are here and now, the rest does not exist. Many times we live as if the past was our essence, but it is not, because we have already left it behind. And the future is a puzzle, so we don’t really have it. There is only this moment, and it is priceless. I have little exercises that put me on solid ground and make me happy: when I exercise, I am here and now when I clean the apartment I am here and now when I dance, I am here and now. We are too burdened with what was and what will be, and in the meantime, we forget to live, to be here and now.  Because some exist and don’t live, and that’s a big difference.

RESPECT, COLLABORATION, AND LOVE AS THE MAIN LIFE VALUES

Because I like to spread the message of togetherness and unity, that is, UBUNTU – which simply means “I am because we are” … how can we all contribute to a better tomorrow, for the good of our community, how can we lead better?

Exactly as you said. Each one of us is a part of a larger whole, when you realize this, then it is also clear to you that you are never alone. It is wise to lend a hand and never think that individualism will get us further. We lack a sense of community, and this is what we should work on improving, to live better together. “I was taught at home that there are many paths in life for each of us; with respect, you get far, with cooperation you get faster, and with love you make a better world”.  

Photo: ZEN

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